Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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