I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
