and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
