I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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