in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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