we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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