i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
