What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
