that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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