So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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