the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
