listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
