You don't have asthma, your pregnant
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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