Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
