we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
