He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
