Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
