is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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