i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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