jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
