I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
