Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
