Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
