the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had to cum in my sink.
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