Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize