Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
