Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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