JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
