I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
