32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
