He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There r osticjed everywhere
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
