So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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