Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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