On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
