you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
