im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
