I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
