the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize