Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
