In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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