"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
