I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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