At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
