Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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