yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
