OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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