we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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