I'm going to jail i love you
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
