Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
