Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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