her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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