i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
