Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
