i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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