I'm going to jail i love you
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
