Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
