Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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