There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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