Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
