You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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