Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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