Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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