Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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