fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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