with your own penis?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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