I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
should my penis look like a turkey
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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