I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
