i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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