I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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