he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
