They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
