hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
