Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
