3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
me + whiskey = a bad person
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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