...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
