No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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