That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
