Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize